How do WE get to YES?

Roughly 100,000 years ago, our foremothers and forefathers started trusting. So, why have we lost that trust in our fellow human today? 

The threat of the unknown keeps us fearful of virtually everyone. We live alone in our own ideological silos. We look at outsiders as strangers and untrustworthy. We are navigated by fear.  

With our ancestors, something triggered this systemic shift towards trust. Something caused this wall of inclusivity to dissolve because families came together, lived together and learned to love each other. Could it have been a gesture of civility or kindness which formed the first tribe? Trusting others became the most monumental moment in human history. Sound far-fetched? Once we trusted each other, we moved mountains. 

Tribes grew to civilizations. Civilizations created culture, music and art. We flew a man to the moon and soon a woman will go to Mars, and it all began with the willingness for us to trust outsiders.  

Before trust, fear kept our ancestors apart. In fact, fear keeps us apart today. Our default was and now is NO. “They are strangers. They are different. They are our enemy.” It wasn’t until trust came along  before YES became a viable option.     

In this ever-changing world of media sound bites, how do we get to YES (part 1)? We begin with a gesture of decency or civility or kindness for that matter just like our ancestors did. We show that we care about others instead of singularly ourselves. Civility builds trust with the foundation being kindness.   

Because trust comes from understanding, YES comes from the same elusive place. YES builds relationships. 

With over 8 billion people on this planet, YES is sometimes difficult to find. We bump into each other; we walk all over each other; we even talk over each other; and we go for the easiest answer – NO! “No, you can’t cut in line. No, you can’t be first. No, you can’t be right.”   

So how DO we get to YES (part 2)?  Let’s learn from history and take a lesson from our ancestors. Let’s begin with decency towards each other. With kindness, YES becomes a much more palpable word to use. The dopamine YES gives us is contagious, infectious and a greater high than any other. 

Today, our virtual climate rewards division and insults with little regard for decency. Trust is broken because the fundamentals of trust are no longer there. Trust is lost because no one trusts anyone. 

We cannot continue this social experiment without trust because we are sabotaging it by tearing each other down. We have forgotten that we work better together even if we have differing ideologies. We are not out to get each other. We are out to get ahead of each other.  

We are all Americans. So, let’s treat each other as such. Find the trust in each other to get to a YES. The comfort of YES is so much more hopeful than the destruction of no.

Farmer Banks Helfrich teaches sustainability on his seven-acre farm in north Clermont. Farm tours are every 2^nd Sunday. Call Banks for more information. (407) 616-9720